Chapter 18 Summary and Thoughts

We're in chapter 18 this week and in this chapter, the things that Much-Afraid has been waiting for end up happening in this chapter. It begins with her waking up in the cave and having a sense and knowing that she's being called, and she could tell that she was being called up to the high places but didn't know how to get up there. Then she sees two deer come out and jump up onto the mountain (similar to how they did right before Much-Afraid and her companions had to go up the precipice of injury) and Much Afraid knew that she was meant to follow them. So, with her new hinds’ feet, she leapt up the mountain following the deer. When she got to the place that the Good Shepherd was, he had his arms stretched out and in laughter and joy he said “You, with the hinds’ feet, come over here!” And so, she leapt over to him. This is such a beautiful moment. It gives me the image of a parent with the excitement and joy and the arm stretched out as their child learns how to walk. It really was the first time she was experiencing how to walk, or leap, and use these hinds’ feet that she now had.

Then, in her conversation with the Good Shepherd there is three important things that happen. The first is that the Good Shepherd gives her the new name she was promised. He lets her know that she is no longer Much-Afraid, but she will now be known as Grace and Glory. This is a name that represents that she is now a daughter of the King and belonging to the Kingdom of Love.

The second important thing that happens is the Good Shepherd brings up the promise he gave her that when the flower of love blooms in her heart that she would be loved in return. Much-Afraid says that she doesn't have that flower anymore because it was asked of her to offer it up. Then the Good Shepherd explains that the flower that was offered up was not from the seed of love that he planted in her heart, but it was the desire for the love of mankind. That's what he pulled out of her heart so that the flower of love from the Kingdom of Love could bloom and take over her whole heart. Much Afraid realizes in that moment that the priest at the altar was the Good Shepherd. And that brought her so much joy to know that even when she thought he had abandoned her, he was there helping her. Then Much-Afraid looks in her heart and sees that there is a beautiful flower of love blooming there.

I think it is important to realize that this does not mean that she wasn't loved by the Good Shepherd before this point. His love is evident in all of his actions, we see the love he has for Much-Afraid through her whole journey. I believe what happens in this moment is that she is healed enough to be able to accept and experience his love. She's able to actually accept and experience the love he has for her because of the transforming journey she has just completed. Whereas even though he loved her before that, it was impossible for her to experience it and accept it because the desire for the love of mankind cause fear to overtake her life. This happens in many relationships, whether from past experiences and trauma or different things like that, it's harder for us to receive love even from someone so clearly loving us in all the right ways. There is healing that actually needs to happen for us to be able to fully experience love and receive it.

Even the verse that he uses is, “I have loved thee with an everlasting love. Therefore, with loving kindness I have drawn thee.” There's nothing in that verse saying you haven't been loved until now, it says you have always been loved. But in this healing process is when she's been able to experience and know that love the way that she's meant to.

Then the third important thing that happens is the Good Shepherd asks for her bag of stones, her memory stones. And he turns them into gems and jewels and places them on a crown that goes on her head. So, all of these trials and lessons become her crowning glory. And she has a moment of remembering when she almost threw them all away, and was so thankful that she held on to them and didn't let her doubts and fears cause her to leave them behind. And that is a beautiful moment as well.

But to me, the most exciting part of this chapter is at the end when after the Good Shepherd does those things, he tells Grace and Glory that she will need companions, working with her in the kingdom of love. She immediately thinks of her companions, Sorrow and Suffering, that did this whole journey with her. And she was about to ask that they could continue being her companions when the Good Shepherd brought over two tall, strong, shining figures. Grace and Glory didn't recognize them until they held out their hands to her, and then she realized it was Sorrow and Suffering, but they also went through a transformation and received new names, Joy and Peace. They explain to Grace and Glory that nothing experience the journey they went on with her and enter the Kingdom of Love without being transformed. And so Grace and Glory gets to continue, this beautiful friendship that she has created with her companions, Peace and Joy.

I look forward to continuing. We have only two chapters left, but there is still exciting parts of Much Afraid's journey to discover. I hope you will join again next week.

-Nadine

Chapter 18 Hinds’ Feet on High Places

Ch. 17 Summary and Thoughts of Hinds’ Feet on High Places